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| In case you hadn’t noticed, people everywhere are extremely pissed off. Flipping through cable television, it’s clear across the guide, from MTV to C-Span, that people are hot under the collar about pretty much everything. The Jersey Shore cast is mad that tanning booths don’t work fast enough. Brides are yelling about taffeta and wine coolers. Rush Limbaugh is mad that Costa Rica won’t let him immigrate. The American public is getting tea-bagged, and in some municipalities, we aren’t even allowed to have a cigarette afterward.
It seems that no one is exempt from feeling angry either. Heck, it’s natural, right? Even the most docile of creatures have an instinct to attack if threatened. And everywhere you look, there are more reasons to feel threatened. Couple that with 24-hour news cycle coverage of the financial, political, and social climate of the country, and it isn’t so hard to see why people are spitting venom. |
Okay, dirty birds. We know you were hoping for some helpful techniques on the art of fellatio, but we’ve got something better for you. Maybe. Truth is, the kind of swallowing we’re talking about has to do with PRIDE! Much like mullets and Air-Jordans, inflatable egos are one trend that just won’t go away. Pride, one of the seven deadly sins, can cause a lifetime of resentment, and not just for the person choking on the lump of superiority caught in their throat. Pride creates a ripple effect. Need we remind you of Attila the Hun? Pol Pot? Kanye West?
None of us are perfect, but we pretend like we are. People like Kanye shield themselves with pride to protect themselves, but their behavior serves only to fuel their ass-clown persona and distorted sense of self. Kanye and others need to practice humility over egotism. Kinda like swallowing a really big pill, it takes some practice, but eventually such medicine will cure what ails you. |
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| Look, no one denies that anger has its place, it can even serve as a catalyst for change. See, e.g. Malcolm X. There are other times, however, where anger is a clear detriment. See, e.g. Leavenworth Penitentiary. Recently there was an incident in a McDonald’s restaurant where a female patron, upset with her order, decided it was perfectly okay to throw buckets of water over the counter and knock down cash registers. This seems like an appropriate response for not getting hot and fresh fries with a smile, right? Haven’t you ever wanted to karate chop the throat of a fast food order-taker when they tell you can’t order breakfast after 11:01 a.m.? Maybe Michael Douglas in Falling Down had it right. People can do extreme things in their anger as vindication for the emotions they can’t control.
But ultimately, what benefit is it to you to lash out on your co-irkers and your family? There might be some short-term release there, but there will definitely be long-term implications of you being slightly crazy. And no one wants to be called Carrie behind their back. So let’s try being less spitting mad. We hear that writing down a list of things you should be thankful for can be a constructive way to keep life in perspective. If you’re anything like us, such a list might even be quite lengthy. If you’re a really angry person, you should have more than enough time to try such an exercise. Really, what’s the harm? Those around you will be big fans of the new you, and you may even end up liking yourself better once you stop spitting on nearby enemies and acquaintances alike. |
Mr. West is actually a great example of how destructive pride can be. A talented young man who chose to pursue his passion for music and entertainment, many folks would no doubt like to feel confident enough in their abilities to do the same. Kanye found great success in his first three albums, but the warning signs became apparent soon enough, and he got a bit too confident in himself. Recall the time-line? Kanye lashes out on at POTUS during a telethon. Kanye hijacks an award show in some half-baked self-promotional stunt. Kanye repeatedly makes an ass of himself. Kanye is a jerk. No one likes Kanye. What Kanye West needed (and finally got) was a spoonful of shut-the-hell-up to beat back his superiority complex. Many people who battle pride issues need a strong force or event in their life to provide a meaningful reality check. For West, it took the absolute scorn of the American public to make him realize that he was, in fact, an a-hole.
The trouble with pride is that it affects the best of us. Most of us think we’re always right, and therefore we have a hard time considering others. Calling us out only leads to hyper-defensive denials or avoidance. Even when we realize that we’re wrong, we continue to justify our righteousness out of fear of looking like an idiot. In doing so, we Kanyefy ourselves. Pride’s a vicious cycle and swallowing ain’t easy. Yet despite the fact that out society promotes and rewards selfish behavior, maybe there’s something to be learned from the Catholic Church after all. Well, that’s probably a stretch, but you know what we mean. |
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Tags: Anger, Catholicism, Kanye West, McDonald's, Pride, Self Awareness, Spit, Swallow
Very true!! I think a lot of us could use a big dose of “shut-the-hell-up” LOL…I love this website gives some very insightful viewpoints. Thanks!!
Initially I was a tad worried to publish this article due to the “catchy” title, but after reading it, I knew such a piece had a home right here. Welcome aboard Mary Jay. We’re expecting great things.
I enjoyed reading this article!!! Keep it coming Mary Jay Blunt
MJB – I’m thankful for you.
Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, everyone stop Kanyefying! BTW, if I may take a moment to explain why this column should have been given to me, instead of Mary –
“Need we remind you of Attila the Hun? Pol Pot? Kanye West?”
Marvelous!
Now don’t let it go to your head!