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| At first glance it may seem innocuous enough, but the ubiquitous Facebook “poke” feature is starting to reach cataclysmic proportions. Communication has degraded into some kind of cyber ping-pong: You like-me? I-like-you You-like-me? I-like-you ad infinitum. As a staff, we didn’t grow up in the most chivalrous of ages, so that’s probably why haven’t really noticed or been bothered by the migration of human interaction to online platforms. Surely, chatting, IM’ing, and texting is how we roll too, but from a romantic perspective, it’s rather disconcerting. | With all the mobiles floating around nowadays, you’d think there would be more phone calls. And yet, all we see are people tapping away on their iPhones for hours on end. They also take a lot of pictures (of food, dogs, houseplants, gardens, and genitals). Sometimes they even blast the latest Timberlake single. But talking? Seems like only banker dudes engage in that tomfoolery. “Buy! Sell! Call me in Hong Kong!” Even Tiger Woods preferred texting to talking. Technically, that was sexting, but that point gets lost in translation, because no one talks to one another anymore anyway! | |||
| There’s something about the blase and disconnected passivity of the Facebook poke (or even the languid one-liner email) that grinds our gears. “You free tomorrow?” Yeah, maybe, but why are you even asking? Please don’t tell me you’re moving again. I’m busy.
Seriously though, relying exclusively on technology to communicate is off-putting, annoying, and quite frankly… wimpy. You simply cannot woo a potential lover/paramour/partner/submissive with a keyboard. It just won’t impress anyone over the age of 30. The reality is that when you communicate like an 18-year-old, that’s who you’ll attract (maybe deep down that’s what you want). If you’re really interested in someone, show it by sending – at the very least – a proper email, which invites a proper phone call, that may lead to a proper date. To sum up, an occasional pokeity-poke is probably ok (albeit somewhat gay), but if all you want is a poke itself, there are other sites that can help you with that. Leave Facebook alone. |
Whither the time when gentle-people called on other gentle-people to say “Hello, are you busy this Saturday, perchance?” We polled some local broads on the subject yesterday, and 91% said they could not recall the last time a man called them up to ask them out. Interestingly, 64% of those asked said they hadn’t been approached for a date in over ten years. In the interest of journalistic integrity, we should probably let you know that the only place we could find anyone willing to talk to us was in Humphrey’s Home for the Aged out in Bayonne.
Look, online invites and flirty notions are nice (in theory), and they may be the way of the world now. But once that initial coffee date ends, a phone call is the next logical step. Confidence and etiquette are an irresistible pair of traits to the opposite sex, and a great phone voice (think of the Most Interesting Man in the World) will usually get you further than any Facebook poke or email note could. Looking for a hot a date? There’s an app for that. It’s called the damn phone. |
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Tags: Dating, Facebook, iPhone, Relationships, Sexting, Texting, Tiger Woods
A big thanks and a special acknowledgment to CK, who contributed greatly to this piece.
You are most welcome! My pleasure!
*poke*
Even South Park got in on this last night: http://www.southparkstudios.com/
As a perennial devil’s advocate, I argue that one trend that always follows technology is that it both frees and confines.
I think that below the surface of this article, though, you see the questions that matter most to me- “to what end, and of what consequence?”.
What purpose are we using our ability to communicate rapidly and expansively for? To share a taco, or to share a moment. To reconnect with a friend who just had a baby – no matter how busy we are, to send love.
And, consequences – as things pick of pace, have we forgotten how to digest long pieces of information and how to focus? Are we working more and more, and missing more and more baby births?
I’d say that staying sane in this world requires us to choose our habits, and choose which habits to purposely take on in order to counteract the danger that looms on the other end of a button click.
That was just my attempt to be clever.
But I couldn’t agree more. One thing I’d say though – calls are better, but texts can be cute if utilized properly.
That, and I know some people that won’t answer their phone, and text back. More comfortable speaking with their thumbs I guess. Interesting world we live in.
F*cking thank you, boss! Can’t stand poking and pusses who send a facebook message instead of CALLING like a normal adult. Grow a pair dudes.
Amen – tired of men/boys who can’t pick up the phone but want to text endlessly like they are talking to their teenage kids. I’m a grown woman. I want to converse, not text, with a man unless it’s a quick “goodnight” or some other cute passing remark to let me know he’s thinking about me during the day. It’s a shy, lazy guy’s way out of having a real conversation. Rock on D. Znutts – grow a pair is right.