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| Growing up, my parents, teachers and friends all pretty much described me in the same way. My attributes and flaws were comprised of the terms perennially listed in my “check this box” report cards. Year after year I was “summarized” by phrases like disruptive in class, highly intelligent, often disrupts lessons, demonstrates advanced analytical thinking, procrastinates, excellent problem solving skills, does not follow directions, eager to learn. Anyone else seeing a pattern here? | For a long time (and every so often even now), I’ve struggled to understand why my instinctual response to life’s responsibilities is one of avoidance, procrastination and occasional disdain. But what if the problem isn’t me? What if the issue is life itself? Why must I (and we) jump through someone else’s hoops, starting at “walk ‘n’ talk” and ending with “diapers ‘n’ dentures?” There comes a time when you have to examine where you are, where you’ve been, and where the f*ck you wanna go. | |||
| What no one could have known at the time was that my pros and cons were – and still are – enhanced and exacerbated by the excessive “Have To” nature of life. It begins in much the same way for each of us. No yelling, no hitting, no taking things that don’t belong to you, no pulling the dog’s tail. Finish your peas, finish your homework, pick up your dirty socks, don’t sit so close to the television. Carry the one, mow the lawn, did you take out the trash? Granted, there’s value in learning responsibility and hard work at a young age, but the entire process has morphed into all Have To, and very little Want To.
You see, the rules of the game are fixed. It’s all about showing the right cognitive and social skills (by age 2) to get into the right preschool, so you can go the best grammar school, so you’ll be accepted at the most sought-after prep school, so that you can attend an Ivy League university, so that finally … you’ll be able to take a breather and rest on your laurels after you’ve been hired at that cushy first job. Yeah, about that … Not. So. Much. Have To doesn’t only apply to childhood; it merely begins there. Life only gets harder when you’re on your own, exposed to the the elements, no longer protected by the parental umbrella. Oh wait, that’s why they invested in graduate school! Clearly, no one has ever accomplished anything worthwhile without taking on six-figure educational debt and subjecting himself to an insanely competitive environment, right? There’s this fascinating thing that’s recently been discovered. It’s called individuality. Maybe we’re not all built to jump through the same time-tested hoops. Perhaps some of us don’t achieve all that we’re capable of because we inherently view life as a never-ending series of Have To’s. Ever notice that you work a lot harder at things when you’re interested, invested and motivated? Do you want to “be your own Bbss?” Have you ever wondered what different path your life might have taken if you would have been able to pursue what interested you versus what made “the most sense” at the time? Fear not, it’s never too late to make some changes and start living the life you Want To lead. It’s just a matter of balancing the things that we all must do to provide for ourselves vs. the things that we need to do in order to feel alive and well. But how, you ask? Easy … |
Time and time again we hear stories of men and women who have found success despite unconventional methods and unique approaches. For example, I recently returned from vacationing on the beautiful Island of St. Croix. In between driving on the wrong side of the road and bronzing my frame to leathery perfection, I happened to meet a local dude who had taken his destiny in his own hands. Not surprisingly, his story both inspired and motivated me.
This gentleman realized about a decade ago that his big city life was all Have To. So what did he do about it? He up and packed all of his stuff, liquidated all of his holdings, and decided to purchase 100 acres of waterfront/mountainside property. He then borrowed funds to build four villas at the top of the mountain, and a restaurant and dive shop on the ocean. Not only is his open-air restaurant the best on the island, but his dive shop makes a killing for snorkel/scuba tours, jet ski and catamaran rentals. Oh, those villas … they rent for an average of $7,500 per week! Pretty sweet gig, huh? $30k per week between December and April, I think that would do quite nicely. Hanging out by the beach? It’s sort of a fringe benefit, if “fringe” means living in absolute bliss. For my part, this tale has only reaffirmed my commitment to blaze my own trail. Some of you might be surprised to learn that I am only moonlighting as The Chairman of the Bored. In addition to my dreadful 9-5′er, I’ve also recently dedicated my time and efforts to launch a brewery. Sounds crazy, huh? Actually, insane might be a better description because my partners and I aren’t just opening a brewery. We’re also developing and producing a reality television (think “Top Chef”) whereby the “winner” of our show will become our Head Brewmaster and Creator of our Signature Brew! What do we know about owning and operating a brewery? Absolutely nothing! That’s the point. No one needs to be restricted to what they know; that’s the “Have To” approach. Why am I telling you all of this? For starters, I am hoping that you’ll support the effort by “liking” on Facebook and “following” on Twitter. More importantly though, I want you to realize that you can do anything you want to do in life. It’s just a matter of taking worthwhile risks and never letting “Have To” eclipse “Want To.“ |
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LESS HAVE TO. MORE WANT TO.
June 24th, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
