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| I always cringe whenever I hear someone say, “The portions were huge!” like that’s a recommendation of the restaurant in question. When it comes to food, people, bigger is not necessarily better. Because it’s your butt that’s going to be bigger, too, you know. | It seems pretty ridiculous for us to pay out the nose for an overly large amount of food that almost assures overeating, a good portion of which will still probably go to waste. Don’t you know there is a recession on? Conspicuous consumption is so ’06. | |||
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Author Archive
LESS MORE. MORE LESS.
Friday, August 13th, 2010by Sasha Sassalotski
LESS LAYING OUT. MORE GETTING IT ON.
Monday, July 26th, 2010by Sasha Sassalotski
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| It amazes me that in this day and age, I hear people talk about “working” on their tan. I just don’t get why, with all we know about the bad effects of sun exposure, the beauty standard for white people in this country is still to have a Coppertone tan. Sure, that sun-kissed beach look is great when you are 20. But all that sun in your youth only hastens wrinkles, sun spots and skin cancer when you are older. | Now, there is another way to get a healthy glow. It’s called sex, and if you do it right, safely and consensually, it can actually make you look and feel younger. If people would take some of that time they spend in the tanning bed and get in bed with a partner instead, we would see stronger relationships, less stress and happier people. A much better use of time and energy than worrying about your tan lines. | |||
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LESS FOOTBALL. MORE FUTBOL.
Friday, June 25th, 2010by Sasha Sassalotski
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| I have never been a huge sports fan, but for some reason, American football has always particularly turned me off. Maybe it was the fact that my mom had very little tolerance for sports or that we didn’t have a pro football team in Utah. Maybe it was that I preferred individual sports like gymnastics rather than team sports myself. For whatever reason, I have never been able to be interested in football except for the Super Bowl, which is a party and so merits my attention. Plus there might be pigs in blankets there. | I lived in Europe for six years and never really got the soccer bug, despite living next to Sparta Stadium in Prague and living in Berlin during the 2006 World Cup. But for some reason I have caught the fever this year. Maybe it’s nostalgia for my days in Europe or the sense of camaraderie with my own countrymen, but I have found a new appreciation for the sport that surprises even me. I have even been getting up in time to go to bars to watch matches at the ungodly hour of 7 a.m., which is hours earlier than I have gotten up for anything in years. | |||
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LESS REMAKE. MORE RALPH MACCHIO.
Monday, June 7th, 2010by Sasha Sassalotski
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| Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, is coming out with a remake of “The Karate Kid” starring producer Will Smith’s son and Jackie Chan. Can you hear the gasps from us Generation Xers who grew up with the original? By the way, why haven’t we come up with a better generational nickname by now (thanks a lot, Douglas Copeland)? It’s like someone digging up the beloved, dead dog of your childhood and dressing him up in a plaid sweater and a hat. Fido never wore a freakin’ hat, you bastards! | Did I mention that Hollywood is also doing a remake of “Footloose”? Seriously? I mean, it was a pretty terrible movie to begin with, but for kids with even the slightest impulse to rebel, it was ours. The “Footloose“ soundtrack was one of the first albums of my own that I got when I was young, along with Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” This is sacred ground. Obviously the ol’ movie machine has run out of original ideas, despite its huge population of screenwriters/waiters, so I have some suggestions. | |||
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LESS BOTOX. MORE BETTY.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010by Sasha Sassalotski
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| I noticed a tall, striking woman in a bar the other day. Fit and blonde, she had on low-rise jeans and a tight crop T-shirt that showed off her tight abs and belly-button ring. Sexy, no? More like embarrassing: She was 40 if she was a day, thinking she was hot, and she was not. | Actress/comedian Betty White made a splash recently with her guest host spot on “Saturday Night Live,” drawing the most viewers to SNL since November 2008 when John McCain made an appearance. Betty is 88 and still kicking hard, and should be an inspiration to women of any age. | |||
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