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| Hello readers and readerettes! It’s about to be the greatest sports time of the year. We just need to drag ourselves to Sept. 9. What I’m getting at here is: Less August baseball and much, much more September football! | While baseball is our pastime, football is our future. It already attracts more television viewers than any other sport in the U.S. Go to any bar anywhere on Sept. 9. Whether you’re in New York, San Fran, Houston or Kansas City, it’s game time, whoo! | |||
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Author Archive
LESS BASEBALL. MORE FOOTBALL.
Wednesday, August 25th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
LESS BROTHER. MORE UNCLE.
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| For the last 28 and a half years of my life, I’ve been a brother. And, you know what, readers? I’ve been one hell of a cool brother. I don’t want to over-toot my own horn, but I’ve pretty much rocked. | This week, I’m going to be an uncle! Baby boy is on his way, whether he’s ready or not. So, readers and readerettes, I’m going to be forced into becoming the world’s coolest uncle. | |||
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LESS CITY HEAT. MORE BAY BREEZE.
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| It’s freakin’ hot!!! This recent spell of hot weather has really put me in a bad mood. It’s not even a heat wave anymore; it’s just “hot as balls” summer now. A heat wave ends, but this one doesn’t seem like it ever will. | So, what I say is this: More cool beach breezes while sipping on frozen cocktails. When the temperature gets to a certain level, we all should be given time off from our respective employers to hit the beach. | |||
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LESS LEBRON. MORE KOBE.
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| Enough already! I’ve had it. Can we please dispense with the hoopla surrounding the impending decision of “The Chosen One” (a.k.a. Lebron James) on which NBA team to play for/city to be deified in. Oh yeah, and how soon he can become a billionaire. | Can you hear that? It’s the sound of anyone reading this column booing me right now. I understand. At first, I wanted to boo myself, but much as you want to hate him, the guy is a winner. He may be cocky or arrogant, but winners are entitled to be that way. | |||
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LESS WORK. MORE VACAY.
Wednesday, June 9th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| Humble apologies, but I’ve been sort of off the grid for the last couple of weeks. No, I wasn’t going all Survivorman on y’all, just a little Caribbean family vacation. Lots of alcohol, golf, and beaches made for a pretty nice little time and some realizations. | You like Europe? South America? Asia? Staycation? Whatever you fancy, just go ahead and do it. Go with your husband or wife or family or friends; just keep in mind that different vacation groups demand different amounts of alcohol, so please be prepared. | |||
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LESS WALL STREET. MORE TREASURE ISLE.
Thursday, May 20th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| For many years, any Johnny Pencil Pusher who wanted to invest his money has set aside his fortune and selected stocks and bonds for his portfolio. Some hire brokers to make these decisions for them, and others slog through the Wall Street Journal for hot tips (or just throw darts at a board). | It may be time to get a little Chester Copperpot on the financial services industry. We’re talking buried treasure here, folks. Everyone has an attic or basement or family home with lots of old crap. Spend a weekend rummaging through and you’re sure to find a map of some sort. | |||
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LESS HANGOVERS. MORE CURES.
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| Ah yes, the dreaded hangover. We’ve all been there, on occasion. Some of us more often than others, Hasselhoff. Sometimes a hangover accompanies a great night, sometimes they make a poor night even worse by the next morning. Thanks a lot, unidentified itchy rash. Making matters worse is the fact that my hangovers seem to keep getting worse as I get older. Used to be that I could depend on some binge drinking to remind my friends and neighbors that I am not aging. Perhaps my invincibility streak is ending. | Call me selfish, call me foolish, but quite simply we need a way to ensure that this awful hangover situation never rears its ugly head again. Granted, there are a few people out there, like Congressman Boehner, who should never have access to my proposed hangover cure, but he can just irradiate his hangovers like everyone else, in a tanning booth. As an aside, I can’t even fathom having a drink with a member of the GOP. I get wasted to feel good about myself, not feel angrier, crankier, and more cynical. | |||
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LESS RAGE. MORE FACT-CHECK.
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| There’s been something on my mind of late and it’s really starting to grind my gears. The HCR debate brought this to light, but it’s been going on for far too long. Picture yourself at the bar, at your place of gainful employment, or even here amongst some genius bloggers. It always starts the same way: someone makes a statement based on nothing more than their stupid opinion. Immediate rage ensues. | What ever happened to having some facts before you mix it up in the arena of political discussion? You know, like those Fox News journalists. Not! How about reading some sports news or stats before making bold predictions? Heck, even picking up your local newspaper once in a while would suffice! Ultimately, that’s the best part of the Interwebs. You can learn before opening your mouth! | |||
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LESS FOR FEW. MORE FOR ALL.
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| It’s that time of year again. The annual “20 Highest Paid CEO’s” list came out for the 2009 fiscal year, and if you thought you felt sick before, think again. A quick scan of the list only validates what I’ve been preaching for years, which is less of the rich getting richer, more slices of the pie for everyone else. | Now don’t go assuming that I’m in favor of slashing executive salaries and diverting the funds into the Bank of Jacki Moonshine. Although I am in line for a pay increase. No, I’m speaking up for all the teachers, police officers, social workers, nurses, and every underpaid and overworked employee out there. | |||
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LESS HIPSTERS. MORE ORIGINALS.
Thursday, March 25th, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| Hipster defined – “One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.”
You know the type. Unless you’ve been living under a rock or maybe if you’re still being treated for that rare allergy to Pabst Blue Ribbon, you definitely can relate to these folks. Seriously, what is your deal, Mr. Hipster? Were the jocks and beautiful people in high school too vapid to “get you?” Guess what, no amount of thrift shop store-credits will ever mask your insecurity, Dude. |
Let’s start a new trend, and aptly dub it originality. Originality starts with engaging yourself in activities and causes that you actually enjoy and/or care about, and not because your flatmates in Williamsburg are doing the same. We’re in America, Jack, who the f*ck besides a Hipster uses the term “flatmates” anyway?
Take those skin-tight jeans you’re wearing, Mr. Hipster. You ain’t comfortable, so what are you trying to prove, exactly, that toite vintage denim cuts off the circulation to your feet? We’re not suggesting you should be General Larry Platt’ing it up, just leave a little breathing room in case you ever want to spawn a child. On second thought… |
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LESS ATHLETES. MORE PROS.
Monday, March 1st, 2010by Jacki Moonshine
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| Lately we’ve been seeing A LOT of negative press surrounding some of our most famous and celebrated professional athletes. There’s that golfer dude, Le Tigre. We’ve got NBA “sharpshooter” Gilbert Arenas. Even our old friend Mark McGwire is back from the dead to start his new career “advising” young baseball players on the best ways to hit the long ball.
We could sit here for hours, telling jokes at the expense of our most despicable millionaire sports stars (and their exceedingly deplorable behavior), but that would only be telling 1/100th of the story. In all fairness, for every over-exposed, media-hyped athlete train-wreck, there are countless examples of those who do it the right way, the oft-ignored professional athlete who gets it. Think of it like a logic game. All men and women who run fast, jump high, and possess elite hand-eye coordination are athletes, but not all athletes are PROFESSIONAL. |
What we’re driving at here is that professionalism and (gasp) good samaritanism deserve more press, more praise, and even a touch of national pride. Sure, it might not be as attention grabbing as accidentally shooting yourself In Da Club, or getting caught with a “loaded gun” in a local motel with someone other than your wife, but maybe all of us can be just a little more mindful and appreciative when we see or hear about an athlete’s good deeds.
Let’s face it. Sex, drugs and guns sell. It’s not like we have a problem with that, either. Heck, True Romance is running on a 24-hour loop here in the LessThis office. That said, what’s wrong with a little inspiration (followed by recognition) in this topsy-turvy world. Not only are there some amazing athletes out there, but there are also many PROFESSIONAL athletes doing great things on and off the field. Being a pro should mean something, even if batting .700 for your beer league softball team doesn’t make you a Pro. |
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