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| I recently asked my 20-something daughter whether she had been reading LTMT. “It’s pretty funny,” she said, “but I don’t understand why the writers keep bashing my generation and our use of technology. Weren’t there changes your parents didn’t like?“ I was struck dumb, which doesn’t happen often. | So what can we offer the internet generation besides criticism? What does any younger generation really want from its elders? How about some good, old-fashioned wisdom? Not the “early bird gets the worm” slogan kind, but an honest sharing of lessons we have learned in our life. | |||
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Author Archive
LESS AGEISM. MORE WISDOM.
Thursday, September 2nd, 2010by Betty Cracked
LESS RUBBERNECKING. MORE WONKAVISION.
Thursday, August 12th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| I don’t know about other areas of the country, but here in New York, the road rage is reaching a boiling point. It’s not too hard to find the culprit of our increased need to lash out: the rubbernecker. We need an intervention before things spiral out of control. | Remember the original “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” with Gene Wilder? Willie had an awesome invention to reduce the annoying Mike Teavee to a shadow of his former self: wonkavision. It’s time for scientists to make that technology available on every new car. | |||
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LESS MILFS. MORE FILFS.
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| The first “American Pie” movie was a riot but gave rise to a new term, “MILF.” For the uninitiated, that stands for “mother I’d like to f*ck.” Millions of teenage boys have glommed onto this phrase to the embarrassment of their friends and mothers. | It’s time for the men to get a little more attention. We need to establish a different trend: the FILF. Sure, some men let themselves go as they approach their mid-life crisis, but as Kevin Spacey proved in “American Beauty,” men can be objects too. | |||
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LESS DOCUMENTING. MORE LIVING.
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| Sitting at my son’s concert the other day, I looked around at all the other parents and noticed something strange. No one was watching the performance; they were recording it. Virtually every parent in the room had their eyes focused on a tiny digital screen rather than the stage. It started me thinking. We document almost every aspect of our lives these days; it’s like we are becoming documentary directors for our lives. | Remember 110 cameras that didn’t even have autofocus? Actual film you had to bring to the photo shop to be developed? How about Polaroid cameras where you had to – imagine this – WAIT for the photo to develop and you were stuck with the results, no delete button, no redo. It was a time when your memories could be preserved as they actually occurred, bad hair and all. This generation would think that was the Stone Age. | |||
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LESS TALENT SHOWS. MORE TALENT.
Thursday, July 1st, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| What has happened to television? Growing up, we used to watch cheesy series like “Dynasty,” riotously funny sitcoms like “Cheers,” even touching coming-of-age dramas like “The Wonder Years.” | Nowadays you can just leave the TV off; there’s nothing to watch. If you want to see real talent, then ditch the comfort of your couch and head out to your local theater, club, or bar. | |||
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LESS CANCER. MORE CURE.
Thursday, June 17th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| I am tired about hearing that people are incurably sick. We are a nation of brilliant scientists who can invent medicine to satisfy men during sex, compress an enormous amount of data onto devices the size of my thumb and land a robot on Mars. What we can’t seem to do is find a cure for cancer. | What we really need to do is rise up and show our frustration to the insurance companies and the miscreants in Congress. We need to funnel some real money into cancer research. We’ve all been doing our part, but it’s time to inject some real money into finding a cure. Enough is enough. | |||
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LESS DIETING. MORE COOKING.
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| You can’t watch five minutes of TV today without being bombarded by ads for miracle fat burners, meal replacement plans or a weight loss segment on “The Dr. Oz Show.” Stories of phenomenal life transformations such as the annoying ads for Nutri-System with Marie Osmond (who dresses her anyway) promising that if you use this product, your whole life will be perfect. Of course, we read the headlines about the growing obesity problem in the United States. According to the Journal of American Medicine, 32.2% of adult men and 35.5% of adult women in the United States are considered overweight – and not the “I just need to lose 10 pounds” variety, either. People who fall into this category are obese. | So what’s a body to do? People, it’s time to get reacquainted with your kitchen. Hearken back to the days of your childhood. You walk into your house to the smells of a home-cooked meal wafting from the kitchen. From down the block, you can just make out the aroma of something delicious being seared to perfection on the grill. Hungry yet? If you head over to the supermarket today, the frozen and dehydrated foods have taken over the aisles and, sadly, some of our kitchens. Ever read the ingredients on some of those boxes? One serving has 30% to 40% of your daily recommended value for sodium with virtually no vitamins or minerals. Frankly, if you need a chemistry degree to read the list, you probably shouldn’t eat it (see Twinkie). | |||
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LESS LAUNDRY. MORE MARGARITAS.
Friday, May 28th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| Ahhh, Spring. That wonderful time of year when flowers bloom, trees ditch that barren spookiness and all the world emerges from its winter cocoon. Satisfying sounds of the thwack of a baseball hitting a bat, the pounding of feet against the road and the cheers of the crowd permeate the air. But there’s one dirty little secret that comes with spending all that pent up energy… laundry. | All that laundry is enough to make anyone insane. In fact, you might not want to ask me where your favorite shirt is (if you value your life and certain parts of your anatomy. I think we all need a cure from the monotony of domestic chores. Something to add a little spice to our daily experience. I’m talking about margaritas. Yup, just thinking about that refreshing frosty drink makes me want to smile. | |||
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LESS YES. MORE NO.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| I know, I know. It’s not PC to comment on other people’s parenting styles, but I’m going to dive in (and offend) anyway. | Surely none of you would be sucked in by your pleading kid. You are much too clever to be done in by big eyes and an “I’ll love you forever.” | |||
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LESS GIRL-FIGHTING. MORE GIRL-BONDING.
Thursday, May 13th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| Ladies, this one is directed at you. More specifically, this is for those of you who have been fortunate enough to become mothers. | Luckily for all of you, I’ve been both a working mom and a stay-at-home mom, so I am here to provide a few words of wisdom for both camps. | |||
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LESS THERAPY. MORE SHOES.
Friday, May 7th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| What’s going on with Americans? Most of us have homes, cars, enough food to eat, and some of us can even take the occassional vacation. But if you watch TV tv on any given night, you get the sense that we’re overwhelmingly depressed. | Maybe there’s a way for all of us to feel better about ourselves. Men, have you ever been thoroughly confused by your lady’s obessession with shoes? Well guess what, she may be dumb, but her Momma didn’t raise no dummy. | |||
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LESS SPECIALIZE. MORE PLAY.
Tuesday, April 20th, 2010by Betty Cracked
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| Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a disturbing trend with respect to specialization? No, I don’t mean in the medical or legal professions, I mean regarding kids. Everywhere you look, it seems children by the ripe old age of 10 are being encouraged, nay bullied, into honing their athletic prowess. “Love basketball, Jimmy? Then you must register for that 8- week summer camp, you have to participate in the spring training league and, you’re definitely going to want forgo interest in any other activity.” Never mind that Jimmy’s jump shot is less LeBron James and more Bill Gates. | Attention Parents! The time has come for a revolutionary idea for your children. It’s called – PLAYING. I know, unstructured time allotment is very frightening for you and your kids, but they will figure out what to do. Remember freeze tag, man hunt, pick-up games of basketball, football, stickball? How about riding a bike with friends? Ahhh, yes. Good times indeed. Parents used to simply send their kids outside (after homework) and instruct them not to come home until the street lights went on. Sure, some of that was willful neglect (and sexy time for Mom and Dad), but we all turned out ok, right? | |||
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