And why was there such an incredible pre-natal feeding frenzy?  Mostly it’s because we all love a scoop. We want to be the first to hear about something so we can immediately tell everyone else in order to get credit for being the first to break the news.  Being “in the know” gives us a weird sense of superiority.  It makes us feel better, smarter, a part of elite group of “insiders.” There’s just something awesomely satisfying about being the the inaugural office-mate to announce that Corey Haim is DOA. It’s not that his death makes us feel good (there’s goes that Lucas sequel), it’s actually makes us a little sad. Well, at least until we realize there’s still another Corey left.

The point remains. There’s nothing like a solid gossipy scoop. It’s the Perez Hilton Model Journalism School.  He showed us Britney’s crotch before anyone else, and so we keep going back to see what other celeb dirt he’s got. You know, so we can tell everyone else.

How about leaving a couple of things to the imagination.  Like momma always said, “Don’t show the cow your t*ts, because he’ll quickly get bored of them and only play with them on the nights when he’s wasted, and then he’ll end up seeking other boobs because the grass is always greener on the other side,” or something like that.

So here’s the thing, let’s not be such an open book anymore. Let’s communicate (or not) offline. In fact, from now on, if you want to reach us… mail us a letter.  We love getting mail.  It’s so disappointing when we open our little mailbox and only receive an assortment of bad J. Crew catalogs and dry cleaning coupons. Frankly, don’t expect a reply to your letter unless it’s stamped in red with the words “final late payment.” Otherwise, we’ll assume you’re writing to tell us what’s on your mind, which we’ve already established is a complete waste of our time.