 |
 |
|||
| You don’t have to be a long time LessThis disciple to know that we lean a little to the left ’round these parts. That said, I’ve recently been thinking about just why it is that the political divide runs so deeply across our nation. The real answers may be complicated, boring, and ultimately overwhelming, but the truth is that most of our differences can be traced directly to our most basic human nature. It’s our egos. It’s our collective grossly narcissistic belief that our opinions and needs are somehow more important than everyone else’s. Newsflash: You’re Not That Important. | Most people, unless they reside in a red state, can articulate the centuries old disagreement between Republicans and Democrats (regardless of what name the parties have been called over the years). The most basic of analysis finds that one side wants to see people do for themselves, with minimal provision of care and assistance from government, while the other side believes in a collective responsibility to grant rights to those who otherwise might not have an opportunity to experience the American Dream as the rest of us do. Me? I’m a middle of the road guy, but… | |||
| (more…) | ||||
Posts Tagged ‘politics’
LESS ME. MORE WE.
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
LESS EMPIRE. MORE PINSTRIPES.
Friday, June 4th, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
 |
 |
|||
| If you know me, then you know that I’m a huge baseball fan. Specifically, I’m a diehard supporter of the New York Yankees − the most storied franchise in all of sports. It’s not hard to understand my loyalties. I‘m a former season ticket holder who was born and raised in the Bronx, and my Dad owned a sporting goods store in the Boogie-Down for over 25 years. Oh, and there’s the benefit of rooting for a team that’s always good. But maybe all’s not well that ends well. To the victor may go the spoils, but what if the victor is just plain spoiled? A little man once re-dubbed my Bronx Bombers as “The Evil Empire.” What if − gasp − he was right? | In many ways, to know and follow the Yankees is to know and follow America. Each has achieved unparalleled success and recognition, yet both are reviled as much as they are admired. The Yankees and the U.S. each maintain incredible wealth and an ability to play by their own rules, and that is ultimately their blessing and their curse. Somewhere along the way, a baseball team and a nation have lost their way. Both seem to have forgotten what made them great in the first place, and in the process have created in themselves a monster that no amount of championships or perceived global dominance can satisfy. Period. | |||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS POLITICAL PARTIES. MORE POOL PARTIES.
Thursday, April 15th, 2010by The Angry Young Man
 |
 |
|||
| We’re a country divided. It seems we’re eternally locked in the battle between Republicans and Democrats, Conservatives and Liberals, Celtics and Lakers, Star Trek and Star Wars. Sure, the two party system has been a stable of our government for ages, but hasn’t it also fostered a great divide among We the People? | Nothing, and I mean nothing, brings people together better than a good pool party. It’s the perfect opportunity to show off how good we look in pastels! Even Hawaiian shirts are totally coming back (you heard it from me first). Where else can you get away with peeing on someone (assuming you’re not R. Kelly) without them noticing?! | |||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS GOD. MORE ZOD.
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
 |
 |
|||
| Enough is enough. We’ve had it! There is WAY too much religion in this country (and this world) for our liking. Whatever happened to secularism, or for anyone living in a conservative locale, seh-pah-ray-shun of church and state. There’s a reason why wars have been fought over people’s obsession with the righteousness of their god. It’s called stupidity. What, exactly, has the man upstairs done lately, anyway? Between non-stop natural disasters, genocides, and the Jersey Shore pandemic, the existence of god seems less likely than that Corey Haim/Brittany Murphy “Where Are They Now?” special airing on VH1 anytime soon. | Maybe the true theological leader sought by the world’s religious fanatics has been hiding in plain site all along. Perhaps a character born of a 1980 Hollywood movie script was representative of much more than a memorable villain, but of a new world order, dominated by British accents and jet-black jump suits. We speak, of course, of a worthy ruler of all Earthlings, none other than Zod. A General by any other name really isn’t a General at all, is he? If you don’t know who Zod is, we pity you. Rest assured though, after watching this clip, we’ll be preaching to the converted. Look at the balance sheet, Zod’s assets far outweigh God’s liabilities. | |||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS LECTURES. MORE SPIN.
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010by Johnny Biscuits
 |
 |
|||
| For the last year President Obama has been talking and talking about Health Care Reform. Frankly, maybe the time has come for a little LESS of his intellectual-speak. Now before all you lefties get riled up and start criticizing us, let’s clarify, shall we?
It’s not that we think that the country is filled with stupid people who can’t understand Obamacare, no, we actually KNOW that it’s filled with stupid people. Sometimes things can get lost in translation, though. We’re pretty much saying that a vast majority of people in this country are MORONS! Once again, just to be clear here, we’re a Nation of Idiots. Obama would be much more effective (say, with respect to gay rights) if he simply said things in a new way. For example, “Those with closed minds who are opposed to gay rights may practice whatever they please in their homes and churches, but we’ve got a little diddy playing, and it’s called Separation of Church and State, bitches.” |
The solution, of course, is quite obvious for Obizzle. Just take a page out of the GOP playbook, and spin us ’round like a dradel. Here’s a few tips to get him started:
It’s just that simple. Keeping your message streamlined makes successful implementation of your ideas more likely by a factor of ten. |
|||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS PARTISANSHIP. MORE PARTNERSHIP.
Friday, March 5th, 2010by Professor Lecherous
 |
 |
|||
| The recent departure of Democrat Evan Bayh from the United States Senate brings us to an interesting juncture in American politics. The most obvious fallout has to do with the fact that Pat Robertson has a new reason to cream all inside of his pleated trousers under the mistaken belief that Bayh’s decision speaks to the Obama presidency. This is almost as priceless as Robertson’s ridiculous theory that the Haitians made a pact with Satan, thus causing a devastating earthquake. Yup, ole’ Pat just loves anything that reflects poorly on El Presidente. Unfortunately, what Pat fails to recognize (too numerous to mention his other failings in one little post) is that the complete disintegration of the political infrastructure in America today actually has nothing to do with Obama, but instead has been building for centuries. Gridlock is nothing new, but the significance of the issues facing our country and our nation are serious business. Now, more than ever, we need less partisanship, more partnership. | Flash forward to today. Obama is vilified as a socialist threat, even though he’s done the very same things Dubya would be doing right now. Goldman-Sachs is still getting away with bloody murder after being released on Government Sponsored bail. Change? Hardly. Hope? Not so much. Withdrawal from Iraq? Sure, save for those 50,000 troops that’ll be stationed there permanently. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) says that Obama needs to move more to the middle. To the middle of what, exactly? The center doesn’t exist at present. There is only extreme partisanship, except when those 116 Republicans who continually bash Obama take time out to line up for stimulus money. Assuming it’s not just for show, it seems like Obama is trying for more partnership. He’s a likable enough fellow, and he is certainly an intelligent dude. But sadly, he’s powerless with respect to the Congressional polarization. Make no mistake, the leader of the free world probably isn’t the catalyst for the change we need. | |||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS PUBLIC. MORE PRIVATE.
Monday, February 1st, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
 |
 |
|||
| We’re not really in the business of telling you how to live your life (usually), but clearly some of us were absent the day they taught public etiquette at life school. We’re all on this crazy ride together, but that doesn’t mean any of us wants or needs to see you clipping your fingernails or toenails on the morning train or afternoon bus. Nor are we the least bit interested in experiencing with our eyes or nose just how much you’re lovin’ it as you scarf down your Big Mac while waiting in line at the bank. As surprising as you may find it, there are these unique and special things all around you, and they’re called OTHER PEOPLE. And to your complete astonishment and utter amazement, some of your private idiosyncrasies can be pretty obnoxious when on public display. | There are just some things that are meant to be done in the privacy of one’s own home. You know, like making a poop. Partially because it feels safer, more familiar, and more comfortable, but also because you don’t have to worry about the lingering aromatic after-effects. It is YOUR domain, and the feelings of others matter not. But that’s the point the aforementioned clueless among us fail to realize as they walk through life as inconsiderate as they are inappropriate. On some level, we all probably bear some responsibility for the increasingly boorish behavior of others. By looking the other way, and failing to address these faux pas, we’re silently condoning their actions and saying everything is ok. Well, fear not public-at-large, that’s what we’re here for. | |||
| (more…) | ||||
LESS THEM. MORE US.
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010by Chairman of the Bored
 |
 |
|||
| We’ve had it. We’re fed up. We’re sick & tired of this never ending blame game between our political parties. Not only is their eternal “dance” beyond unproductive, but the media’s ridiculous coverage is designed only to fuel the fire of our polarization, which in turn drives up their ratings. Enough is enough. There are some serious as sh*t issues facing humanity. If we don’t hold these elected clowns accountable, and soon, we’re all going to have a lot more major problems on our hands than Obama’s birth certificate or a few Republicans’ propensity for public restroom shenanigans. | The central problem in our country is that these joker politicians have forgotten the most basic reason for their existence. THEY WORK FOR US. Their sole function is to protect and promote the interests of their constituents. And by constituents, we mean YOU AND ME. No one else. That is why it so mind boggling that any Senator with half a conscience can possibly vote with his or her own party as often as they do. Are we really to believe that a Republican from Georgia and his local electorate are on the same page as his fellow GOP’er from Maine? We think not! | |||
| (more…) | ||||
