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| Brace yourselves, folks. This token redneck has decided to decry your fancy city-livin’ with total disregard for the truth. Naturally, that’s not entirely true. There are many benefits to living in a big city, including culture, entertainment, industry and the classiness of major league sports. But the drawbacks sure are starting to pile up, aren’t they? Hell, I bet if you asked a hundred city-dwellers to name five good things about their city, they’d just hit you in the face with their iPad and run away in assumed fear of being mugged. It’s too bad their city has made them so paranoid. They might have enjoyed that talk. | Ahh, clean air and fresh cut grass. Everybody knows that our olfactory senses are the strongest links to specific memories and like a typical hick, “country air” is seared into my brain forever. It’s an odd mix of no-pollution, grass, and oddly enough, cow manure, and it is the smell of my youth. Don’t get it twisted – I didn’t grow up on a farm or anything. Just in a small, “agriculturally inclined” town right in the middle of the U.S.’s beautifully monotonous Heartland. We were just a short drive from the city, but we might as well have been raised in a time warp. Damn, I miss the 1980s | |||
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Posts Tagged ‘Texas’
LESS CITY. MORE COUNTRY.
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010by Uncle Peterstain
LESS USA. MORE NYC.
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010by Dimebag Darrell
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| We here at LTMT are multi-dimensional folk. We love sports, fine cuisine, beer, recreational drugs, beer, sex, beer and traveling. Ah, traveling. Now, I’m not talking about awe-inspiring trips to see the Sistine Chapel in person (by the way, if you want to send me on a murderous rampage, call it the “Sixteenth Chapel”) or spontaneous trips to Amsterdam that you’ll likely misremember a few weeks later, but I mean trips across this great, vast nation of ours. | You know how I know New York City is awesome? People who are famous and rich say so. In fact, an abundance of great writers before my time have waxed poetic about the romance and atmosphere of this city, and awesome guys and gals certainly don’t need to speaks words that have already been spoken. Nope, this piece is about why folks who were born & raised in the NYC should forever be grateful that theirs is the home of the Shake Shack… and not of Sweet Home Alabama. | |||
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LESS IDIOCY. MORE LEARNING.
Tuesday, March 30th, 2010by Dimebag Darrell
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| Let’s face it: this country is (sadly) rife with less education and more idiocy. Just last week, the free daily, amNewYork, wrote of how one-quarter of our high school juniors and seniors “misidentified Adolf Hitler.” One of the most vile people this world has known is just another name (or some dude that got screwed over by Microsoft) to one out of every four American 17-year-olds. You might think that “schooled” adults with degrees and mortgages would fare much better, but a recent look at trends on Google showed that searches for “Assburgers Syndrome” peaked a day after Parenthood – a primetime drama with a married couple that has a son with Asperger’s – debuted on NBC. Depressing, isn’t it? | Here at the home office, we’re big baseball fans, and some of us are stats geeks. While such a tidbit may be uninteresting to most, it does serve to prove a point. You see, the objective analysis of baseball through statistical measures, or sabermetrics, isn’t something that is taught in school, or readily learned without some effort. We simply discovered an interest in the subject and “educated” ourselves. What is most disturbing about the average uneducated American is that he or she possesses a complete and utter disinterest in learning something on their own. It seems to us that people look at education not as an exercise in personal enrichment, but rather a chore, or a necessary evil to pass an exam. Sad, but true. | |||
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LESS EDUCATION. MORE REDACTION.
Monday, March 29th, 2010by Uncle Peterstain
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| After deftly and succinctly touching on religion last week, we figured it was high time we addressed education. If you ask us, education is key to being like, all smart and stuff. It’s true; look it up if you can even read this. That’s why our collective feathers got so ruffled when we read a story about the “different” history that Texas is trying to invent with its new public school textbooks. It seems as though they only want to teach what they like, or believe, or find righteous. Whatever they want to call it, we call it just plain wrong. | No, no, this piece has nothing to do with awful war movies from Brian De Palma. We’re talking about the combining of separate stories and turning them into one cohesive statement. Here’s an example: Say we edited the Bible into one big story and punched it up a bit with some action of our own; it would be The Holy Redaction. As fun as that could be, the threat of things being lost in translation looms large. Surely “pay attention to the details” has its own PowerPoint in the freshman orientation at Redactor State University, right? That’s day one stuff. | |||
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