11:30 p.m. “I’m so excited! I’ve got another crappy day of  work tomorrow but geez man, it’s late and I really need to get my late night comedy ON. But such a dilemma… what should I watch tonight? Hmmm, Conan, Letterman, Kimmel? Should I wait up for Fallon or that sly bastard Carson Daly?  Wait a second here! What my luck, it’s Saturday night!  Imma gonna git me some SNL!!!  With such a diverse, heaven’s never replicated, completely original set of great comedy minds, how can I possibly go wrong, seriously.”

11:31 p.m. “Haha”

11:32 p.m. “Ha”

11:33 p.m. “What?”

11:34 p.m. “This blows, what’s on Skinemax?”

11:37 p.m. “Zzzz…”

As you’re aware (our readers are so informed, it’s scary), in the hills of Pakistan and Afghanistan, Al Qaeda has insulated themselves from American search teams. Like Jesse the Body said in Predator, “they’re dug in up there like an Alabama tick.” Recently, the terrorist forces have hunkered down in their caves and mudhuts in defense against unmanned aerial drones and an increased number of U.S. troops.  This shift in strategy has been bolstered in part by information gathered from Al Jazeera TV, an outlet also utilized by Al Qaeda to broadcast their anti-Infidel sentiments.

However, despite our obvious philosophical differences, there is some common ground here. What person, after a long day of work (terrorist scheming and Jihad-planning for some), doesn’t want to kick off his boots, nosh on some hummus, and turn on the TV?